Friendships Old And New

When I cranked up my computer this morning I do the first thing I do every day, I check my email. I respond to the things in my inbox and I do a quick check of the junk mail just to make sure there's nothing important that got dumped in there. Sure enough, there was an email from an old friend, an old best friend to be exact.

Lori and I used to work together and when you work with sex offenders and low life scum you tend to form bonds with your coworkers. Lori and I were no different. We weren't just coworkers we became best friends. We were inseparable in and out of work. We used to commiserate about all the weird stuff that would happen at work over a lunch date or weekend shopping trips. She practically lived with us on the weekends and we didn't care. We made her a part of our family. I loved her like the sister I never had. At one point, Roman and I played match maker and she dated one of Roman's good friends for a couple of years. When that relationship hit the skids, we then set her up with one of Roman's cousins. We were determined to make her a permanent part of the family we loved her so much! After a year of dating Roman's cousin that relationship ended and she felt the need to move away and start fresh.

Lori took a job in Austin to make a fresh start. San Antonio hadn't been good place for her, too many bad memories, she said. As the months ticked by she made new friends and didn't really have the time for her old ones. When she called it was to talk about her man problems or how great her new friends were and all the things she was doing. I admit, it stung and we felt left out. Her excuse, "Well, ya'll don't live here." I couldn't make her understand just because we were an hour away didn't mean we didn't want to be part of her life anymore. I guess we were one of those bad memories she was running from. Soon, the visits were less frequent then non existent, same with the calls. To make a long story short our friendship changed, she changed and it just wasn't the same. We didn't feel like we fit in with her new life. For my mental health, I made the decision to move on. I dropped her as a friend and never looked back. I hadn't heard from her in 5 years, until today.

I've never truly forgiven her for dumping us. I'm still very hurt by it. Sitting on the sidelines and watching her slip away was totally gut wrenching for both Roman and I and the pain of loosing a good friend like that hurts, even 5 years later. It made us both question the kind of friends we were. What had we done wrong to make her not like us anymore? After Lori, I swore I'd never become that emotionally involved with a friend again and for years I never let myself get close to anyone.

Time has gone by and I've been working on expanding my social circle. The girls I scrapbook with are my closest companions. A lot of us are at the same place in our lives and we really get each other, not to mention we share an amazing love of a fun hobby. I'm still very reserved with my love but one person in particular had managed to break my icy facade. Cindy is the first woman in years that I can say is my best friend.

All of you were asked to read my blog for a reason. It wasn't some random selection of people by any means. Each of you reading were chosen because, in some small way, you inspire me. You inspire me to be a better person, a more balance individual, to see the world from a different point of view, to have faith in God, or just laugh at the silliness we call life. Each of you is very special to me whether you know it or not. Thank you, but most importantly, thank you for letting me call you friend.