Blogmeet 2006

I'm exhausted and strangely, my stomach muscles hurt. It's not because I tried out Neighbor's stripper pole or from me waving my fists indignantly at the jackhole Houston drivers, it's because I laughed my fucking ass off this weekend. It was a one liner wonderfest, I tell you!

If you missed it, you missed out BIG and you will have to email someone who was there to get why all of us present are using the the term "twelcome" and we scream like girls with jazz hands extended. Let me just say, the hilarity of it gets lost in translation and you really needed to be there. Next year, please attend so we can all be on the same blogging page. Tanks.

I would like to thank Brighton http://brightonandbear.blogspot.com/ and Trav for letting me crash at their place. Silly me, I decide to try and book a room on THURSDAY. Yeah, so much for that. Nothing was available within a 20 mile radius because of Keels and Wheels. So, I made a quick call to Chateau B and begged for a room to which I was given the most comfy twin bed in history, or I was really really tired Saturday night. Either way, I slept oh so well. It was great to see the kids and John again too. I so love B's kids, makes me wanna go out and kidnap a few for kicks. The girl is seriously funny ya'll. I believe everyone needs to have a least one friend like B. I was so happy to see her new house too! Can't wait for them to move and get settled. This move is such a great thing for them.

I got to meet Nanner http://blackpunkin.blogspot.com/ and Jeanette http://www.nicehatblog.com/ Saturday at the Kemah boardwalk. I swear Nanner and I could have just hung out and hugged all day. That girl gives seriously good hugs, my kinda hugs. We chatted over lunch at Saltgrass and talked about her son, Nate. That boy is lucky to have a mom like her. I wish'd I had a mom like the Peachy One. We also talked about jobs and my never ending search for the perfect one. Did I mention Mistress Peach can totally rock a field sobriety test after one too many shots of Patron? Oh yes she can and do a piroette to boot! The girl totally rocks my socks off, 'nuff said.

I got to sit next to Jeanette at lunch. Folks, if you've never met J, MEET HER! She's wickedly funny despite her claim of shyness. How much fun was it telling the whole table about her experience riding a huge cock on the boardwalk carousel? To have her explain it is pure hilarity. It's worth the price of admission just hear her say the word cock 10 times. Throw a fuck and a shit in there and you've got the trifecta of Jeanette's humor. Who knew she's got a potty mouth?!?! How could something that cute and innocent looking have a raging potty mouth!?!?OH and those dimples. I'd kill and eat a small mammal to have those dimples. She's got to be the most photogenic person alive. And, and she's got a great job. That bitch. :)

Saturday night I got to meet Tinyhands http://tinyhands.blogspot.com/, Jethro http://chirotechnics.blogspot.com/and Zelda http://sleepingugly.blogspot.com/ . First thing we had do was to inspect Tiny's (not so) tiny hands. He was forced to put his hand up to everyone's for comparison. Tiny's got a new nickname, Not So and he answers to it. The boy is also funny as a drooling bus passenger and he's single ladies. Cute and single. Tiny you now have no less than all of us women bloggers trying to pimp you out, deal bud, just deal. We're marrying you off some way, some how. There was some dialing going on after dinner and I got to talk to Ali http://www.cocktailsandsmokes.blogspot.com/. How great was that?!?! She and Tiny have been buddies for quite some time and it was great to actually get to TALK to the jaw-jah peach. I wished she could have been there but maybe next time.

I have a secret. OK, a confession. Jethro and Zelda make it into Kristin's "couple she'd most likely want to have a 3-some with" category. First, Jethro is just the cutest thing ever! I've had a crush on him for quite some time and you know what? He's damn cuter in person!! Zelda? What's not to love about Z? When she told me her bosoms have almost killed Jethro more than once, I fell in love at that very moment. The woman says things I'd love to, but I don't have the balls to and did I mention she's married to a hottie? Add the 900 phone sex operator voice she's got and oh my goodness, a total delight!! Can't wait to see them again.

I wished I'd gotten more time with Sam and Stephanie. They are the nicest couple! So friendly and outgoing they jumped right in and were just "one of the gang". I wish I knew Sam's blog address, but I can't seem to find it. If you know what it is, please leave it in the comments so I can go over and start visiting him. Fun folks, can't wait to spend more time with them too.

All and all he had a wee bit o' fun. Did I mention B took us over to Neighbor's house to show us "the stripper pole"? Upon leaving Jeanette says, "I'm disappointed I'm not going to see you dance". How could B disappoint her? She flew all the way in from California for god's sake! So, B cranked up the tunes and danced for us. I've got pictures my friends and no they aren't for sale and yes she was dressed, you freaks. We're not like that, we just sleep in the same king sized bed together hang panties from the ceiling fan and tell Tiny that we would "so fuck him". Gutter brains.

Remember in high school you had Senior Superlatives, or as I call them, "the most likelys". I've made my own Blogmeet 2006 Superlatives. Here goes:

Inanna-Most Like To: have Jose Cuervo's love child
Jeanette-Most Likely To : tongue a bear then call him a fucking bastard
Brighton-Most Likely To: channel Molly Ringwald's ghost from Breakfast Club
Travis-Most LikelyTo: to leave B for an asian at Bush Intercontinental
Tinyhands-Most Likely To: end up becoming a peach wrangler as his day job
Zelda-Most Likely To: sport a gun as a form of foreplay
Jethro-Most Likely To: need an adjustment after sex with Zelda and her bosoms
Kristin: Most Likely To: get a nasty letter from tree huggers about her single handedly depleating the ozone layer with her abuse of hairspray

(Ok in my defense it IS Houston and it IS humid as all hell)

So, when are we doing this again, kids?