Weighty Decisions

.4, that's all I lost this stupid week. Less than a half of a freakin' pound. Shit, shit, shit! I know, I could have gained and there's no one to be frustrated at other than myself. I made the choices I did this past week and the scale told the tale. Scales don't lie, well unless you retain water like a dike. That's dike, not dyke, just for clarification. So, if you're keeping track that's a grand total of 12.8 lbs. so far. I was hoping to hit 15 this week but it wasn't to be. Next week I'm not too sure how I will do because it's typically the week I loose the least due to um, woman issues. I'll leave it at that. This week I need to watch my portions more carefully and keep eating fruits, veggies and grains high in fiber. My colon will love me for it and so will the scale.

I started going to meetings on Wednesday and was sort of luke warm about our leader. She was OK, I'd been around worse. We switched to Tuesdays due to Ash Wednesday and we've keep going to the Tuesday meetings because they are FABULOUS!!! I can't say enough good things about Paula, our leader. She talks with everyone before the meeting to discuss problems or obstacles they are having and when the meetings start.......oh boy, she has the best talks! She keeps us totally engaged the entire 30 mins. I almost wished the meetings were an hour, yes, she's that good! She totally motivates and encourages me, which I adore. The ladies in the meeting are great too. Most are super friendly and talk with you before the meeting about foods or recipes they like and someone is always handing out a recipe they tried and loved. It's a great meeting and there's a reason it's a full house each Tuesday night.

I had an ah-ha! moment last week. And of all places to have this ah ha! moment? The shower. What can I say I do some of my best thinking while conditioning my hair. This isn't a diet. This is the way I'm going to be eating 1.) to loose the weight 2.) to maintain my loss and 3.) to be healthy and live a long life. This isn't something I'm going to do for a year and then stop. If I do, I'll gain it all back. This is a life change. I finally put two and two together and figured it out. That's pretty big for me.

I've been a slacker on the exercise. I know I need to get off my ass and move but it's not so easy when most of the things you enjoy require you to sit on your lazy ass. Tonight's talk was about fitness and moving. We're not talking marathoning or Iron Man here. Just getting off of your ass and doing some sort of physical activity. I bore easily so walking the track at the high school doesn't do much for me. I loose interest after the first lap. I can buddy up with someone but I find I walk slower so I can talk, which isn't exactly beneficial. Same thing with walking the neighborhood. Hey look, same house, look here, oh yeah, same house. *yawn* Couple the bore factor with sweat and you've got my dilemma in a nut shell. I'm going to try yoga. It's on at 5am on the Oxygen Network and runs Monday through Friday for an hour. If I don't want to get up that early I can always record it and do it in the evenings after work. I've never done yoga but I've heard great things about it and I don't see those folks huffing and puffing and sweating like a whore in church either. I'm also interested in trying Curves. I've heard good and bad things about the program but I'd like to go try it for myself, curiosity and all. Tonight I bought a tennis racket and some balls. I'm going to go to the junior high school and hit some balls on their court boards. I've always liked tennis and golf but due to my weight I quit doing them. It's time to get back at it. I'll let you know how the exercise program is going, I'm kinda pumped to start doing something again.

Last topic, I'm a little frustrated with my Weight Watchers partner. She's nice and all but there is just that *something* about here that sticks with me the wrong way. Don't get me wrong, she's nice and very supportive but I guess I feel she's not as committed as I am. I need to just let that go. She's doing the plan her way and I'm doing it mine. I can't control anyone by myself. Ok, letting it go. Done. Over.

Oh, one other vent. My Mother. You know there's a nasty streak in that woman that I'm not sure what to do with, so I try and ignore it. When I called her to tell her what I lost my very first week her response to my 6+ pound lost, "Well, most of that is water weight." Um, thanks, Mom. Now why couldn't she have said, "Way to go, I'm proud of you, keep up the good work!" Why? Now I know most of it was water or all water but way the nastiness? Last week when I called to tell her about my 4+ pound loss she said, "Do you plan on stick with it this time or are you going to quit like last time?" Um, HELLO that was 1987 and who wants to go to Weight Watchers, forcibly with your mother on a Saturday morning when you're 17?!? Show me a teenager that does and I'll show you a freak. Fact remains, I'm getting some passive aggressive vibes from her and I try and not take them in and let them effect me. No, I will NOT let her words effect me. Again, I can't control what others say or do I can only control my reaction to them. My Mother's negativity will not hurt me or sway my resolve. So there. Done. Over.

I think I've said everything I need to about Weight Watchers. I'm still super motivated and looking forward to next weeks weigh in. Wish me luck.