It Takes A Lot Of Money To Look This Trashy!
Oh. No. Those are two words that strikes fear in the hearts of women around the world as they sit there in the colorist's chair with a box of tin foil on their hair. Those are the exact words that G uttered as I sat there cooking on Friday afternoon. Houston we have a problem, a bad problem! Abort! Abort!
Keeping in tune with my undiagnosed OCD I have to say that my hair color changes with the seasons. I've been ever color under the sun with the exception of platinum blonde. As a general rule, I'm usually much blonder in the summer. "Damn woman, dye those eyebrows!" and "No, the carpet and curtains don't match!" blonde. This year I did the opposite. Spending so much time in the pool, out in the sun, at the beach wreaks havoc on blonde highlights. This year I'd rather not spend my summer trying to not look like the Statue of Liberty.
Friday I made the decision to go back to my darker base color. My actual hair color has darkened as I've gotten older and now it's something akin to the color of mud, and I don't mean pretty mud either. So, G and I decided to warm my base color up with some red and add gold and copper highlights. Seems like a simple plan. Not so much.
I sat there for 3 hours and was colored and highlighted. When G came to check on the whole process she opened the foils around my face to find that my once blonde highlights were now salmon pink. Let me say that again. Salmon. Pink. Could those highlights be down by the nape of my neck? Fuck! No! Those were the ones that framed my freakin face!
Houston we are having a color em. er. gen. cy! She quickly neutralized with bleach and toner and the largest part of the disaster was aborted. The few stubborn ones that reminded were "razored and texturized out". Crisis averted and G lived to cut and color another day. I'm pleased with the final result but damn, for the first time ever I shit a proverbial Twinkie. I'm very brazen about my hair, it's just hair after all it'll grow back, right? In my panic all I could think of was going to two job interviews with salmon pink highlights! As you know people, it's all about the hair. As I was paying my bill and leaving G tossed her head back and said, "Hey Kristin, you'll be glad to know big hair is coming back in style." And all I could think of was, I knew Jesus was an Aqua Net fan.
Keeping in tune with my undiagnosed OCD I have to say that my hair color changes with the seasons. I've been ever color under the sun with the exception of platinum blonde. As a general rule, I'm usually much blonder in the summer. "Damn woman, dye those eyebrows!" and "No, the carpet and curtains don't match!" blonde. This year I did the opposite. Spending so much time in the pool, out in the sun, at the beach wreaks havoc on blonde highlights. This year I'd rather not spend my summer trying to not look like the Statue of Liberty.
Friday I made the decision to go back to my darker base color. My actual hair color has darkened as I've gotten older and now it's something akin to the color of mud, and I don't mean pretty mud either. So, G and I decided to warm my base color up with some red and add gold and copper highlights. Seems like a simple plan. Not so much.
I sat there for 3 hours and was colored and highlighted. When G came to check on the whole process she opened the foils around my face to find that my once blonde highlights were now salmon pink. Let me say that again. Salmon. Pink. Could those highlights be down by the nape of my neck? Fuck! No! Those were the ones that framed my freakin face!
Houston we are having a color em. er. gen. cy! She quickly neutralized with bleach and toner and the largest part of the disaster was aborted. The few stubborn ones that reminded were "razored and texturized out". Crisis averted and G lived to cut and color another day. I'm pleased with the final result but damn, for the first time ever I shit a proverbial Twinkie. I'm very brazen about my hair, it's just hair after all it'll grow back, right? In my panic all I could think of was going to two job interviews with salmon pink highlights! As you know people, it's all about the hair. As I was paying my bill and leaving G tossed her head back and said, "Hey Kristin, you'll be glad to know big hair is coming back in style." And all I could think of was, I knew Jesus was an Aqua Net fan.
posted by Kristin at 7:53 PM
7 Comments:
Oh no! Not the hair!!! Eep! I'm so sorry. How long, exactly, did it take for your heartrate to return to normal? And how was the twinkie?
NOT THE HAIR!!! NOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Did I ever tell you about the time in college when my waist length platinum blonde hair turned GREEN from the pool? I still have a twitch from that experience.
J-Who knew my ass could produce snack cakes?
B-No you did not! Oh the horror!
LOL at Brighton. Oh hell. I wondered why she kept bonking me!
*Gulp* Salmon? Actually dahlink, I tink you could pull salmon off with aplomb, but I'd laugh my ass off.
*Ducks*
*muffled* Okay, okay, not the hair!! NOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Nanner-Well it wasn't quite the fashion statement I was looking for.
If I had your hair, I would be pretty brazen about it too. One time at band camp I deliberately died my hair jet black.
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