Resolution Checkup

I haven't checked on my resolutions lately so as they say, no time like the present.

#1 Make my health a priority-Yep, check. I'm down a total of 35 lbs. and feeling great. I can't wait to hit the 50 lb. mark so I can do something special for myself. I'm still trying to decide what. If you have any suggestions, put them in the comments, I'm needing some good ideas. As for my stomach, it's cooperating these days. All in all I'm feeling really good! Despite taking a good multi vitamin and eating according to the food pyramid, I'm very tired. Exhausted, actually. I need to figure out what that is all about.

#2 Scrapbook more-Well, I'm doing so so with this one. I just don't seem to have the time lately. I am getting together with girlfriends this weekend for 2 days of crops so hopefully I'll get a lot of pages done. I'm hoping being on MaggieMae's design team will get me scrappin' more at home too! I'm starting the first page of my all about me album, I'll post when the page is done.

#3 Meet a few bloggers-Check, check and double check. This month I met, April, Jeanette, Nanner, Tiny Hands, Sam, Zelda and Jethro. Wow, my life is so full with new friends.

#4 continue to cultivate new friendships-see # 3 I still need to contact one of my long lost friends from high school. I know where she is and I've got her email address. I just haven't had time to sit down and write the proper email.

#5 Use my camera and photo editing programs more-I'm still using Picasa and loving it! It's so easy and I'm really happy with the results I'm getting. I still have yet to master Photoshop or PSE. It will get done, it will get done....Manual mode is still the setting I use most on my camera. I haven't mastered the one I have, why do I want a new and more complex one?

#6 Read something other than a scrapbook magazine-This one I've fallen flat on. I'm just NOW caught up on my magazine reading and I need to start a couple of books I'm looking forward to reading. Maybe in a few months I'll be knee deep in books. Lets hope.

#7 Keep the faith-RCIA is on hiatus till the fall when we start another class. I'm going back for round 2 in the fall. I really enjoyed the whole process so I signed up to help out again. Still going to church weekly and enjoying it. I haven't joined a bible study and not really sure if I'm ready. Time will tell.

#8 See the glass half full-I guess I'm doing pretty good at this one, look at all I have accomplished and it's only the end of May!! I'm feeling so good about my life right now. Happier than I've been in years really. Yay me!

It Takes A Lot Of Money To Look This Trashy!

Oh. No. Those are two words that strikes fear in the hearts of women around the world as they sit there in the colorist's chair with a box of tin foil on their hair. Those are the exact words that G uttered as I sat there cooking on Friday afternoon. Houston we have a problem, a bad problem! Abort! Abort!

Keeping in tune with my undiagnosed OCD I have to say that my hair color changes with the seasons. I've been ever color under the sun with the exception of platinum blonde. As a general rule, I'm usually much blonder in the summer. "Damn woman, dye those eyebrows!" and "No, the carpet and curtains don't match!" blonde. This year I did the opposite. Spending so much time in the pool, out in the sun, at the beach wreaks havoc on blonde highlights. This year I'd rather not spend my summer trying to not look like the Statue of Liberty.

Friday I made the decision to go back to my darker base color. My actual hair color has darkened as I've gotten older and now it's something akin to the color of mud, and I don't mean pretty mud either. So, G and I decided to warm my base color up with some red and add gold and copper highlights. Seems like a simple plan. Not so much.

I sat there for 3 hours and was colored and highlighted. When G came to check on the whole process she opened the foils around my face to find that my once blonde highlights were now salmon pink. Let me say that again. Salmon. Pink. Could those highlights be down by the nape of my neck? Fuck! No! Those were the ones that framed my freakin face!

Houston we are having a color em. er. gen. cy! She quickly neutralized with bleach and toner and the largest part of the disaster was aborted. The few stubborn ones that reminded were "razored and texturized out". Crisis averted and G lived to cut and color another day. I'm pleased with the final result but damn, for the first time ever I shit a proverbial Twinkie. I'm very brazen about my hair, it's just hair after all it'll grow back, right? In my panic all I could think of was going to two job interviews with salmon pink highlights! As you know people, it's all about the hair. As I was paying my bill and leaving G tossed her head back and said, "Hey Kristin, you'll be glad to know big hair is coming back in style." And all I could think of was, I knew Jesus was an Aqua Net fan.

Losing What's Left Of My Mind

May has been a whirl wind, gone every weekend and then this past Saturday our annual volunteer fire department supper. For those of you that don't know, Roman and I chair this event. This is his 20th year and my 15th, 11 as his co-chair. Everything went swimmingly, attendance was down, despite the increase in city population. I'm bummed that people don't have a sense of community and would rather just pay their taxes than come out and be social and get to know their fellow citizens, fire and police personnel and city officials. The food rocked, lots of compliments to the chef (that would be me), smooth sailing kitchen wise and the auction did quite well. Roman's company's donation did particularly well. Our chief was happy, so we are happy. Happy and very tired and sore. At one point my girlfriend Dawn stopped by to support us and was told she could find me crawling around under a table in the kitchen. Yep, there I was on all fours, apron and plastic gloves groping around trying to plug in food warmers. It's a glamorous job, but someone has to do it. It's not a success until I'm wearing a little bit of all the food we serve.

After Saturday I thought my summer was free. Free of any commitments and time to enjoy a slower pace, longer days and hours upon hours in the swimming pool. Thursday afternoon, my dream of freedom came to an abrupt halt. I got two calls from two different agencies I'd applied with last month. They both wanted me to come in for interviews this week.

I'm not your typical employee. You won't find me spending 20 or 30 years with an agency and eventually retiring because my age and years of service have maxed out. That's not me. I go somewhere, I become good at what I do, great in fact, move up, then move on. I can't see me doing the same thing for 20 years. Not ever! I'm 35 and I'm on my 2nd career. I can't be stagnant, I can't do the same thing day in and day out, I must be challenged, because I bore easily. To sum it up, there are tons of careers out there, why should I be forced to do one for my entire life? I want to do A LOT of things. I'd like to be chef, I'd like to own a bed and breakfast, I'd like to own a non profit agency. See? No pigeon hole for me.

My first opportunity is working with the district attorney's office of a medium size county as a victim's advocate. The other opportunity is working with adjudicated juveniles in a treatment setting. If I get either of these jobs I won't be able to talk about work here. It's a privacy thing. Not my privacy, but the privacy of the "clients" I'll be working with. Lets say I might be going back to my criminal justice roots and I've lost my mind. In my defense, I miss being a social worker, I miss helping people. The money is shitty, the hours long but the rewards can be great. I don't get that now and I miss it. So, I've done gone and lost my mind as Roman says. I am the biggest glutton for punishment. I should know something in two weeks to one month. In the mean time I need to get my transcripts faxed, my MMPI scheduled and drug tests done. I was finger printed today and they're starting on my background investigation. It's amazing what I'll do for shitty pay and county benefits, but I'm pretty excited.

National Law Enforcement Week

National Law Enforcement Memorial Week is this week. Having worked closely with sheriff's offices, city police departments and federal agencies for a large part of my career I've gotten to be good friends with those in law enforcement. The ones I'm friends with on a professional level exhibit nothing but professionalism and their dedication to their careers continually wows me. We have a few officers that are part of our close circle of friends and one in the family, so guess I just feel a special kinship with them which makes this week sorta special for me. The work they do is thankless and low paying and yet they get up and go to work, putting their lives on the line so we can sleep well at night. Let us not forget those who paid the ultimate price for a job they loved to do. Below is a poem that is on the California State Memorial in Sacramento. Thank an officer this week for all they do, shake his or her hand and say a hearty "thank you", heck pay for their dinner if you see them eating out. They deserve it.

I never dreamed it would be me
My name for all eternity
Recorded here at this hallowed place
Alas, my name, no more my face

"In the line of duty" I hear them say
My family now the price will pay
My folded flag stained with their tears
We only had those few short years

The badge no longer on my chest
I sleep now in eternal rest
My sword I pass to those behind
And pray they keep this thought in mind

I never dreamed it would be me
And with heavy heart and bended knee
I ask for all here from the past
Dear God, let my name be the last

Northbound 35

I swear my ass is applying for residency status on my truck seat. How did I used to spend 2 weeks a month in a vehicle traveling? How? I've gone soft, or rather, my ass has gone soft. Just. can't. do. it. anymore.

My trip to Waco went fantastic! Yet more days of laughing till there were tears and I'm very ok with that. First, my "Donna" class was awesome. Honestly, I didn't learn much I didn't already know but it was so fun to just sit and listen to Donna teach. She's a damn HOOT not to mention cute as a button and down to earth! There was a whole Fiskars drill thing that took on a penis/balls/shaft connotation. If anyone can pull THAT off smack dab in the middle of the bible belt and get uproarious laughter is damn OK in my book. Confession time, I sorta have a girl crush on her after that. At the end of the class I went up to shake her hand and tell her thank you for coming and she said, "What with the hand? Gimme a hug!" This woman meets thousands of women every year and she seems to be at home anywhere AND to offer a hug and a thank you for coming to my class just seals the deal that this woman is a class act. That's her, up there, signing my 3, yes 3 books. Did I forgot get to tell you she's a published author? Yeah, she is, thrice over.

My friend April, whom I took the class with, has her very own stamp company, http://www.maggiemaestamps.com/. April decided that she'd give a little gift of stamps to Donna. Well Donna went nuts over them and told April she'd link her site on her blog. Do ya'll know what that means? Anything that nationally recognized scrapbookers touch turns to instant gold. Seriously. If they mention it, sales skyrocket. It's the weirdest damn phenomenon. Sorta lemming mentality, but hey, that'll work for April and her new stamp company. Donna knows what happens when things are linked on her blog and she's willing to put her name to April's product. That's damn nice and cool of her to do. Lets just say I think Donna Downey rocks.

I found someone who's more directionally challenged than I am. Just to let you know, I can fuck up Mapquest directions. I did it in Waco and ended up on the bail bonds, liquor stores and lounges side of town. I can get lost in a paper bag, I tell you! I wasn't equipped with a sense of direction upon leaving the womb. I popped out and said, "What light? That intersection? This doesn't look right. Shit, I'm lost, I'm pulling over for directions."After 30 minutes of driving in circles to find the IHOP, then the store to get my truck and 2, count them, 2, trips around the "circle" in Waco we made it back to our hotel room in Temple. Me in the lead, of course. Poor, poor April her gyroscope is jammed. It was like the blind leading the deaf, but damn funny.

When we got back to the room we stayed up looking over our purchases, talking girl talk, discussing MaggieMae and just generally getting to know each other. At 4 am we called it quits and fell asleep. 8 came early and April had to get back to Waco for her class at 10 with Donna. I went south, back home, but with a new friend and lots of laughs and memories.

*An aside, I lost 5.2 lbs. this week. I'm up to 35 lbs. and couldn't be happier with myself.*

Happy Mother's Day

Last post of the week as I'm leaving for Waco early tomorrow morning. I'm off to meet up with my friend April and take some scrapbooking classes at Crop, Paper, Scissors http://www.croppaper.com/ from the famous Donna Downey http://www.donnadowney.typepad.com/. Yeah, I'm excited. Call me a scrapbook dork if you must, I'm soooo ok with that. I'll be back at it on Monday. In the mean time happy Mother's Day to all my mom readers and to everyone else, have a great weekend too.

Moms, for your viewing pleasure. Seem familiar to any of you?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bhcA4Ry65FU

Another MeMe, 'Cuz I Got Nothin'

Accent-Negatory, good buddy. I'm from San Antonio, not Houston. We don't sport accents here. However, I do use the words, honey, hon, sugar, sweetheart, darlin', puddin' and pumpkin a lot, so that counts.

Booze of choice-Vodka, all vodka and nothing but the vodka, so help me GOD. Add tomato juice and I consider it a health drink. Any other booze makes me hurl and we won't discuss any and all abuse of whiskey in my 20's. It's something I'd rather not re-live, thanks.

Chore I hate-Honey, this is why I have a cleaning lady. To never ever have to scrub your very own toilets is a glorious thing.

Dog or Cat-Duh, dogs. And I want a 3rd weenie dog but the husband says no way. He'll be talked into it, he always is.

Essential electronics-MP3 player and the occasional cable channel I can't live without *coughhistorychannel/nationalgeographicchannelcough*.

Favorite perfume-Victoria's Secret Rapture

Gold or Silver?-Yes, in large quantities with big, big diamonds. I'm a girl of simple tastes.

Hometown-Schertz, TX or as I call it, the "we're getting less hick, northeast side of San Antonio".

Insomnia?-Ever notice how you'll get an email from me in at 2:45 in the blessed am? So that would be a yes.

Kids?-I love kids, they taste like chicken.

Living Arrangement-Homeowner with a husband and two horribly behaved dachshunds. Why? You wanna come visit?

Most admired trait-I have the ability to make people laugh, well as long as it's not at a funeral.

Number of Sexual Partners-Define sex....

Overnight Hospital Stays-None, however one more punch on my Baptist system ER card and I get a free nights stay. Yay!

Phobia-Heights, lets just say you won't find me jumping out of a perfectly good airplane anytime soon.

Quote-The only thing that separates us from animals is our ability to accessorize.

Religion-Catholic. No, I've never had sex in a confessional, why do you ask?

Siblings-Zero, nada, none. That explains a lot doesn't it?

Time I wake up-Too damn early for my liking, thank you.

Unusual talent/skill-I'm very bendy, even for a fat chick, I'm bendy. ;)

Vegetable I refuse to eat-Turnips, they get two thumbs down and a double nasty!!

Worst habit-Having little or no patience. Next question!

X-rays-Leg, ankle, foot, stomach, colon....shall I continue?

Yummy foods I make-Heart Attack Chicken ranks high on the family's list along with my dressing at Thanksgiving. I have quite the flair with the avocado so I make guac that would make your granny weep.

Zodiac sign-Libra

Tagged By Jessi!

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck! I gained .6 of a pound. Shit, shit, shit. This is the first gain since starting so I can't be too hard on myself. I made my 10% goal last week and I'm working on my next. Back on track this week. I learned that I can't travel and eat out 2-3 meals a day and loose weight. I now know how I got this damn fat. Knowledge is power, so says Allie.

I was tagged by Jessi, so here ya go Jess........

Four Best Jobs I have had....
1. parole officer
2. probation officer (it's ok to want to go back to that hell again, isn't it?)
3. working for the owner of a stamp company as a demo artist
4. working for Hallmark in college

Four WORST Jobs I ever had...
1. waitress (I actually tossed a roll at someone)
2. the current hell I'm in
3. de-frocked hostess after said roll throwing incident
4. probation/parole officer (it had it's ups and downs, toward the end, more downs than ups)

Four Movies I could watch over and over again...
1. The English Patient
2. Sixteen Candles
3. Bull Durham
4. Broke Back Mountain (I watch it for the scenery, so hush)

Four Places I have Lived
1. San Antonio/Schertz/Selma, TX
2. Denton, TX
3. Austin, TX
4. Hondo, TX

Four TV shows I love
1. The Bachelor (shuddup, I know)
2. Will and Grace (is it bad to want to be Karen Walker?)
3. Dirty Jobs (I now know I'll never be an alligator sexor)
4. Dog Whisperer (Cesar, oh Cesar, I NEEEEED you!)

Four Places I have been on "vacation"...
1. England (North, south, east and west Wales and Ireland too and they speak English, well sorta)
2. France (I'll never return)
3. Scotland (They've got my kinda climate)
4. Italy (If you haven't been, go, really.)

Four Websites I visit Daily
1. Two Peas........duh
2. tons of blogs
3. Weight Watchers
4. Ebay (once a week)

Four Favorite Foods
1. Carbs, carbs and did I mention carbs? That would be bread in all variations.
2. Laughing Cow cheese
3. Texas Roadhouse's chicken tenders
4. Saltgrass's baked potato soup

Four Places I would rather be...
1. Hawaii visiting friends
2. Florida at Disney
3. Vegas
4. San Fran

I am tagging...EVERYONE, just do it!

Blogmeet 2006

I'm exhausted and strangely, my stomach muscles hurt. It's not because I tried out Neighbor's stripper pole or from me waving my fists indignantly at the jackhole Houston drivers, it's because I laughed my fucking ass off this weekend. It was a one liner wonderfest, I tell you!

If you missed it, you missed out BIG and you will have to email someone who was there to get why all of us present are using the the term "twelcome" and we scream like girls with jazz hands extended. Let me just say, the hilarity of it gets lost in translation and you really needed to be there. Next year, please attend so we can all be on the same blogging page. Tanks.

I would like to thank Brighton http://brightonandbear.blogspot.com/ and Trav for letting me crash at their place. Silly me, I decide to try and book a room on THURSDAY. Yeah, so much for that. Nothing was available within a 20 mile radius because of Keels and Wheels. So, I made a quick call to Chateau B and begged for a room to which I was given the most comfy twin bed in history, or I was really really tired Saturday night. Either way, I slept oh so well. It was great to see the kids and John again too. I so love B's kids, makes me wanna go out and kidnap a few for kicks. The girl is seriously funny ya'll. I believe everyone needs to have a least one friend like B. I was so happy to see her new house too! Can't wait for them to move and get settled. This move is such a great thing for them.

I got to meet Nanner http://blackpunkin.blogspot.com/ and Jeanette http://www.nicehatblog.com/ Saturday at the Kemah boardwalk. I swear Nanner and I could have just hung out and hugged all day. That girl gives seriously good hugs, my kinda hugs. We chatted over lunch at Saltgrass and talked about her son, Nate. That boy is lucky to have a mom like her. I wish'd I had a mom like the Peachy One. We also talked about jobs and my never ending search for the perfect one. Did I mention Mistress Peach can totally rock a field sobriety test after one too many shots of Patron? Oh yes she can and do a piroette to boot! The girl totally rocks my socks off, 'nuff said.

I got to sit next to Jeanette at lunch. Folks, if you've never met J, MEET HER! She's wickedly funny despite her claim of shyness. How much fun was it telling the whole table about her experience riding a huge cock on the boardwalk carousel? To have her explain it is pure hilarity. It's worth the price of admission just hear her say the word cock 10 times. Throw a fuck and a shit in there and you've got the trifecta of Jeanette's humor. Who knew she's got a potty mouth?!?! How could something that cute and innocent looking have a raging potty mouth!?!?OH and those dimples. I'd kill and eat a small mammal to have those dimples. She's got to be the most photogenic person alive. And, and she's got a great job. That bitch. :)

Saturday night I got to meet Tinyhands http://tinyhands.blogspot.com/, Jethro http://chirotechnics.blogspot.com/and Zelda http://sleepingugly.blogspot.com/ . First thing we had do was to inspect Tiny's (not so) tiny hands. He was forced to put his hand up to everyone's for comparison. Tiny's got a new nickname, Not So and he answers to it. The boy is also funny as a drooling bus passenger and he's single ladies. Cute and single. Tiny you now have no less than all of us women bloggers trying to pimp you out, deal bud, just deal. We're marrying you off some way, some how. There was some dialing going on after dinner and I got to talk to Ali http://www.cocktailsandsmokes.blogspot.com/. How great was that?!?! She and Tiny have been buddies for quite some time and it was great to actually get to TALK to the jaw-jah peach. I wished she could have been there but maybe next time.

I have a secret. OK, a confession. Jethro and Zelda make it into Kristin's "couple she'd most likely want to have a 3-some with" category. First, Jethro is just the cutest thing ever! I've had a crush on him for quite some time and you know what? He's damn cuter in person!! Zelda? What's not to love about Z? When she told me her bosoms have almost killed Jethro more than once, I fell in love at that very moment. The woman says things I'd love to, but I don't have the balls to and did I mention she's married to a hottie? Add the 900 phone sex operator voice she's got and oh my goodness, a total delight!! Can't wait to see them again.

I wished I'd gotten more time with Sam and Stephanie. They are the nicest couple! So friendly and outgoing they jumped right in and were just "one of the gang". I wish I knew Sam's blog address, but I can't seem to find it. If you know what it is, please leave it in the comments so I can go over and start visiting him. Fun folks, can't wait to spend more time with them too.

All and all he had a wee bit o' fun. Did I mention B took us over to Neighbor's house to show us "the stripper pole"? Upon leaving Jeanette says, "I'm disappointed I'm not going to see you dance". How could B disappoint her? She flew all the way in from California for god's sake! So, B cranked up the tunes and danced for us. I've got pictures my friends and no they aren't for sale and yes she was dressed, you freaks. We're not like that, we just sleep in the same king sized bed together hang panties from the ceiling fan and tell Tiny that we would "so fuck him". Gutter brains.

Remember in high school you had Senior Superlatives, or as I call them, "the most likelys". I've made my own Blogmeet 2006 Superlatives. Here goes:

Inanna-Most Like To: have Jose Cuervo's love child
Jeanette-Most Likely To : tongue a bear then call him a fucking bastard
Brighton-Most Likely To: channel Molly Ringwald's ghost from Breakfast Club
Travis-Most LikelyTo: to leave B for an asian at Bush Intercontinental
Tinyhands-Most Likely To: end up becoming a peach wrangler as his day job
Zelda-Most Likely To: sport a gun as a form of foreplay
Jethro-Most Likely To: need an adjustment after sex with Zelda and her bosoms
Kristin: Most Likely To: get a nasty letter from tree huggers about her single handedly depleating the ozone layer with her abuse of hairspray

(Ok in my defense it IS Houston and it IS humid as all hell)

So, when are we doing this again, kids?

Dreams Really DO Come True

I've been a member over at http://www.twopeasinabucket.com for quite some time. I post a lot but I also lurk a lot. I love to look at the gallery and get inspiration. The talent on the board is amazing! Certain Peas consistently stand out in my mind, April Mensik and Cynthia Roybal are two of my favorites. Don't tell them but I "scraplift" a lot of their work.

Last year, I noticed on a post of April's that she now had a blog. Being an avid blog reader I clicked on the link in her signature line that went to her blog. I immediately bookmarked her, because I'd stalked her layouts in the gallery for quite some time and I wanted to learn more about her. Blogs are a great way of doing just that!

Last Spring April was in the final stretch of school and preparing her portfolios for graduation. She was stressed so I decided to email her a daily thought, phrase or reflection. I'd been in her shoes and I knew what she was going through and wanted to help her get by. She graduated with flying colors and we became friends and as they say the rest is history.

Less than a year after graduation, today, April made a dream of hers come true. She opened her own business. http://www.maggiemaestamps.com/ April is one of the strongest people I know. She's had to overcome lots of personal obstacles and adversity in her life. I don't care to go into the details here, but let me say, this woman is flat out amazing! She gets knocked down and dusts herself off and gets back up with her chest out and chin up. All that, talent, drive, determination and always there for her friends. She inspires me. If she can make her dream come true, I can get off my whinny ass and do it too.

Wanna know the really cool part? She believe in me too. She has graciously asked me to be a part of her design team. Me! She's got enough talent to do all the page samples herself. Instead of gathering all the thunder herself, she's decided to surround herself with amazingly talented women to plug her company and work designing page samples to showcase her stamps..... and and and I'm a part of that! I'm humbled. I hope I never let her down. She's entrusted me with a part of her dream.

Sweets, here's to making all your dreams come true, long nights of more IMs, silly questions and quotations and frenzied calls of "What do I do?". I'm cheering you on, praying that God guides you and wishing you all the best of luck. Love you babe!