Updates, Updates and More Updates

Let me just say how happy I am that The Bachelor picked Sarah last night. So happy! This is the first time in all the seasons I've watched that I picked correctly, in fact, I loved her from the beginning and was hoping she'd be the one. Yay me! Yay Travis and Sarah!

Since tomorrow is Ash Wednesday and I have to distribute ashes tomorrow night at 7, I can't make it to Weight Watchers, so I went tonight. I'm happy to report, I lost another 1.2 lbs. I like this leader much better so I might have to talk my partner into going with me on Tuesdays instead. She was sick tonight and couldn't make it.

We haven't had a Breeder update lately, that's because it's been quite over yonder. However, Mrs. Breeder moved out, again. She's been gone for two weeks. At first I thought she was working a lot, because you know, her lazy husband doesn't have a job yet. I saw her coming the other morning the pick the kids up for school and then drop them off in the afternoon. She's definitely not living there. No matter what time of day it is, her suburban isn't there. Hmmm, wonder what's going on. Oh and their house is no longer for sale, there go my hopes of them moving out.

I'm happy to report I saw Dakota over the weekend and he survived his bike accident. He had to have a couple of stitches, but he's on the mend. We're happy about that.

Tomorrow is Ash Wednesday which officially kicks off Lent. I intend to spend more time in silent prayer and less time in scrapbook stores spending money. I'm giving up all supply shopping with the exception of cardstock. Cardstock is a staple and I buy it on an as needed basis. I don't even need page protectors or adhesive!

I'm feeling better about Lori. I'm just going to let it go. You know, I let her go once and I can do it again. I'll cheerfully return her emails but that's it. I'm not getting involved with her life. She's doing fine without me and I'm doing fine without her. Why try and fix what ain't broke?

I'm still a little perplexed as to why one of my good friends thinks I'm self absorbed. Does she really think this or was it just an off the cuff, trying to be funny remark. Either way it hurt. If she knew me 15 years ago I would say, yes, I was a self absorbed bitch. Growing up an only child is difficult. Everything revolves around you, especially with parents who wanted a child do badly and couldn't for so many years. So, when you finally arrive, you hung the moon and then some. Trust me, that wears off on a kid and I'll readily admit I was probably a brat. Not an obnoxious brat, because I was shy but a brat when things didn't go my way at home. Those ways are tough to mend. It's taken a lot of personal reflection and deciding if my behavior was getting me the desired result. It wasn't, so I've slowly had to change my ways. It's been difficult, but I'm making strides. I know I'm not perfect but I sure would hope that if I died tomorrow my friends wouldn't use the words self and absorbed in my eulogy.

I'm contemplating a career change. I need something new. I have career ADHD if you didn't know. I need a new challenge. I'm going to apply for a few positions with San Antonio's largest employer. I'll keep you posted on that.

In keeping with the ADHD/OCD/anal retentive theme, I've been doing some spring cleaning. First it was the pantry. I've decided on what I'm doing in there, by the way. The walls will stay white (boo, hiss) but I'm adding a navy painted border at the top. In that border we're adding actual horse shoes and tin stars tied with red bandana. There'll be some rope entwined in there too. It'll keep with the theme of my kitchen and blend, just fine. I'm still not sure if I'm going to paint my baskets in there or not. I'm loving my pantry right now, it's so neat and organized.

This past weekend was organize and donate day of the master closet. Our closet is so huge it should have it's own zip code. We threw away and gave away tons of stuff! After a trip to The Container Store I'm happy to announce my closet is clean and organized and I can actually find things! Novel concept, I know. I actually found a skirt I forgot I had!

Whew! That's a lot of stuff. Ok, off to go label my shoe boxes, because I'm OCD like that.

Wondering........

I'm feeling sort of dejected and not so great right now and no, it's not health related.

I got an email from Lori last week telling me she'd been to the doctor and the bambino is in the chute and ready to roll. So, any time now she might go into labor. I replied that Roman and I'd like to come see the baby. I was planning on making a mini album for her to put on her desk or credenza at work. The reply I got, "Chris and I are going to be too busy and tired to call people and I'm really going to use the time in the hospital to rest up." Alrighty then. Guess we're not going to Austin to see her. Stick a fork in me, I'm done with her. All I wanted to do was share in her joy of having had a baby, but I'm not invited. Whatever.

Saturday night I was with some girlfriends and we were chatting as always, we do that well, you know. I can't remember the topic of conversation but one of my friends said to me, "Kristin, it's not always about you." Uh, ok. Now that's got me wondering, am I self absorbed? DO I indeed make everything about me? I try really hard to think of others, because you know, I didn't learn it as an only child, so as an adult I have to work at it. The past few years I think I've made great strides. Anyway, the comment cut, hard and I was quiet the rest of the night. I just sat there wondering and working on my project.

Last week I interviewed for a job that I'd be good at, not to mention qualified for. I called just now to see if a decision had been made, it had, and I didn't get the job. *sigh*

At 1:45 I have to go to my GI doctor and discuss with him my test results and progress. This should be fun. I'll post more later about my prognosis.

This And That Thursday

Here's a planner I made for myself prior to knowing I was getting PDA for Christmas. Now I have no need for it. If anyone would like to give it a good home let me know and it's yours. I'll take my name off of it and put yours on.

WW Update: I lost a total of 6.4 pounds this week. I don't feel 6.4 pounds lighter but I'll take it.

Last week I was sitting in my office, on my computer as usual, and I saw a bunch of kids outside riding their bikes. I saw one kid fall off and I thought to myself, "Ouch! Get up buddy, shake it off, you're fine." I looked back down and started typing again and then I heard a sound that made the hair on the back of my neck stand up. It was a child wailing, not crying, but wailing.

I didn't look up to see what was going on. I immediately jumped up and ran outside to find a boy, about 10, holding his finger, his bloody and bruised finger. He was screaming so loud the other kids he was playing with took off. I asked him to let me see it. It was bad, I saw more flesh than I wanted to, especially of a person I didn't know.

I scooped him up in my arms and ran him to my car, I ran in the house and grabbed my car keys. Before I pulled out of the garage I asked his name. Between sobs I got the name Dakota. I introduced myself, choking back tears and told him I was going to take him home so his parents could help him. I asked him to calm down and tell me where he lived. He nodded in the direction of the street behind ours.

I grabbed his good hand, squeezed it tight and off we went. We pulled up to his house. I helped Dakota out of my car, his little shirt covered in blood. The poor thing was still sobbing, lower lip quivering. I didn't knock on the front door, we walked in and he started to call for his mom. She came running down the stairs to meet a strange woman, holding her son tight and Dakota sobbing uncontrollably.

He tells his mom what happened and I tell her it happened in front of my house. She was grateful that I returned him home. I couldn't let go of him. I was stroking his hair and I kissed his hand and told him it was going to be alright. I had to leave, I did all I could do.

Looking back, even though I have no children, my mommy instincts kicked in. I wanted to make his pain go away and I wanted to hold him tight and tell him it would be ok. I guess I wouldn't have made a bad mom after all.

Passing Chalk

Sorry for the delay on the update. Really, I need to get in a better posting groove.

Let's see....the small bowel follow through went off without a hitch, well sort of. My appointment was at 8am so I rolled out of bed, threw on some sweats, brushed the hair and teeth and I was out the door. I got to my appointment. just in time except, I was at the wrong imaging center. Dr. C's office gave me the wrong address. No worries, the receptionist called the other centers and found out where I was suppose to be. Seriously, I felt like a freshman on the first day of high school, lost and looking for my English class.

15 minutes later I'm at the correct place and ready for my test. I was dying of thirst because I had to fast (no food or water after midnight). I usually get up, take my meds with a huge glass of water first thing in the morning. Not yesterday, so when the radiology tech handed me my first glass of barium I chugged it like a frat boy on Friday night. I could have cared less that my white ass was hanging out of my hospital gown, I was thirsty damn it! He was most impressed and handed me a 2nd glass. That one went down quick and I didn't even gag, not once! Again, I impressed the tech. He said he'd have a gold star for me when I left. I told him the long and sordid story of my gut issues and he immediately understood why I did so well downing the barium in record time.

Mr. Tech took some initial slides and then put me in my personal cubby to watch tv while the barium when to work. 20 minutes later he retrieve me and took some more slides. He said things were progressing. Back to my cubby I went to watch more of the Lifetime network. 30 minutes later, back I go for more slides. This time we're ready for the radiologist. He does a quick ultrasound and says I need another cup of barium to get things where they need to be. WTF?!? Honestly, if my foot would have reached I would have kicked him square in the nuts. Twice.

Back to my cubby I went with yet another cup of barium. 30 minutes later I'm back for the final slides. The radiologist had me turn left, right, up, down, kiss your toes and I was done. No comments, no diagnosis, not a peep whether he could see an obstruction or tear. So the waiting game begins again. I should know something on or before the 27th when I go back to see Dr. C.

As for the barium, it has turned into a concrete rock in my stomach and it feels like I'm trying to pass an elephant. Not pretty, not fun and it hurts. I remember the same feeling when I had my upper GI done 3 years ago.

On to more pleasant things. I'm liking Weight Watchers. The program is easy to follow and I like our leader. My first weigh in is tomorrow. I don't feel different, like I've lost this week, but we'll see tomorrow. I have a lot of "points" to eat daily and I'm having a hard time eating them all. I haven't used any of my weekly flex points.

I'm not sure about ya'll but I will mindlessly eat, eat to just have something in my mouth or on my hands or at my computer. Big no no. Now, before I eat I try and determine, am I bored, am I hungry, am I doing this out of habit? I've become more conscious of what I've put in my body this week. I think that is helping.

I'll update ya'll more often, I promise. Be forewarned, I'm going to talk about food a lot. Anyway, thanks to everyone who emailed and called yesterday to see how I was. I appreciate your thoughts and prayers.

Mind Musings

Ok, I know ya'll want an update on how the shower went. It went. Lori was happy to see me, I think, but it was really great to see Kim and Laura again. The party was at Laura's house and she definitely knows how to throw a nice baby shower. We talked, ate and played stupid games. All in all it was only a 6 on the uncomfortable scale. When I left, Lori hugged me and with a sniff and a tear she said she missed me. Oy! What am I suppose to do with THAT!?!? So, I'm feeling a letter to her coming on. You know, just letting her know that my life is really good right now and I'm really not wanting to upset that balance. Too many things have been said and done, blah, blah, you get the picture.

Ok, on to Valentine's Day. I got my favorite flowers and a beautiful card. Oh, and because he knows I'm trying to watch what I eat, a teenie tiny box of Russell Stover's chocolates. Love that man more than words can say. The dogs each got a new stuffed toy. Millie a piggy with hearts on it's bottom and Stanley a purple elephant. They're toy basket overflowith. Roman had to bowl last night so we did the dinner thing over the weekend. Besides, I absolutely loathe having to wait for a table more than 30 minutes. We always do the Valentine's thing early, just to beat the crowds, we're practical like that. It's HOW you spend the time together that matters not on what day, right? Well, that's how I see it anyway.

I submitted 3 more pages for a pet pages call. I did the one you see up top this weekend and yes, it got submitted. Feels good to be trying. My hopes are up but I'm not counting my chickens just yet.

I start Weight Watchers tonight at 7. I'm nervous. I know it's going to be a lot of hard work and I'm not so good about planning my menus. Let's hope the Points plan is a little bit easier to follow than their old plan. I did well on the old one but it was such a hassle to plan meals out. I know, if you plan what you eat, there'll be less chance of eating off plan and falling off the wagon. But still, it was a PITA and I got stuck in a rut of eating the same thing over and over because I was tired of planning so I would just eat the same menu and that got boring fast. That part sucked and that's why I quit. Lets hope the Points thing is more user friendly.

I'm in a work funk, but that's a whole other post. So, I'll save that for next time. Hope everyone has a wonderful day and if I haven't told you lately, thank you for reading and giving me feedback. I so love getting comments!

I Got Your Number, Sister!!

Remember me telling ya'll about my ex best friend Lori that I hadn't heard from in 5 years and all of a sudden emailed me in December? Yeah you do, go re-read the post. Anyway, she told me that she'd gotten married and was now pregnant. Yeah, wow, good for you. *yawn* That was your entire goal in life, remember? No shocker there.

Since her emails, I've been wondering, why now, why contact me now? I now know. I got an invitation to her baby shower. Oh please, for the love of GOD and hot frito pie don't insult my intelligence and strike up a conversation with me out of the damn blue and then drop the invitation bomb. I was on to her, way on to her. I knew something was up. At any rate, I RSVP'd that I'd be there. I'm curious to see what she looks like and meet up with some of the girls I used to work with. I have ZERO desire to rekindle a friendship with her after all these years and hard feelings. I forgive, I just don't forget.

Why would I want to add her into an already perfect mix of friends. I love my girl friends and I would hope they love me. They're always there for me when I need them and we never question motives. We're just like that.

This past weekend I got together with a few friends to scrapbook. Everyone had left but Yvette. She and I were talking about my old career and I was lamenting about how Dawn and I started at the same time and she's gone gangbusters where I, a once work-a-holic, was now not so gung ho. A dead screeching halt to be exact. I started to get upset and really beat myself up over the situation and Yvette had some great words of wisdom for me and made me feel instantly better. How much do I love her?!?!? TONS! She is such a calming presence in my life. She knows just what to say and not in a patronizing way either. She just knows. I can't explain it.

Sunday after church, we stopped by Denise's house to show her and her husband the new truck. We talked for a bit and caught up about what was going on in our lives, I'd only talked to her once last week. Later, when we got home I checked my email and there was one in there from Denise. She wanted to compliment me on how great my hair and make up looked and tell me how happy she was about Roman's new truck. Out of the blue she sent me this email, just to give me a compliment. Denise is super busy with a career, 2 girls and a husband and his business and she took the time out of her busy day to compliment me. How much do I love her?!?!? TONS! She's super thoughtful and always calling to check up on me and see how I am. She does this, just because. Just because she knows how to be a great friend.

So Lori hasn't changed, no biggie. I got an email from her this morning. She started in with how hectic her work is and talking about her shower this weekend. Never once did she mention how my CT went or if I got the results. No surprise there. She hasn't changed, but I have and things aren't the same for us. I just hope she can find girlfriends that are half as good as mine. Right now, I'm feeling pretty blessed.

Small Bowel What?

It's a small bowel follow through. That's what I'm having on the 20th and it includes barium. I told ya'll it would, don't look surprised. I cut and pasted some information for ya'll to read, you know, just can case your stomach ever falls through your butt or something thereabouts. As for the perforation thing, I can guarantee you, that I indeed do not shove freshly sharpened pencils up my ass! This is going to be a fun test. Adios dignity.

A Small Bowel Follow Through (SBFT for short) is, as the name implies, an exam that follows barium (a thick, chalky fluid) or some other contrast media through the small intestines. For those who are interested, the small bowel, or intestine, is a thin hollow tube like organ measuring approximately 22 feet in length in the average adult, with a diameter of about 1 to 1 ½ inches. The first 8 to 10 inches of the small intestine is relatively fixed in position, and is referred to as the Duodenum. The other two sections, the jejunum and the ileum, form a series of freely moving loops attached to the back wall of the abdomen. As you would imagine, it can easily take two or three hours from the time the study starts until the first traces of barium can be seen emptying out of the small intestine into the large intestine under x-ray.

Since the Large Intestine, or Colon, loops around and in front of the Small Intestine, it is necessary to start preparing for this exam the day before to insure that the Small Bowel and the Colon are as empty of solid material as possible. This preparation normal consists of laxatives and a low-residue diet, which is made up of foods that leave little to no waste behind for the body to expel. For an example of such a diet, please see the Barium Enema page on this site. On the morning of your exam, you may not eat or drink anything until your exam is completed.

When you check in for your exam, the technologist who will be in charge of doing your study will show you to a dressing room where you will be asked to strip down to your underpants (sorry ladies, but bras sometimes show up in the middle of this exam) and put on a hospital gown. You will then be escorted to the x-ray room where your study will be performed. Once in the room, an x-ray called a "Scout Film" will often be done to be sure that there are no unexpected surprises lurking that may cause problems. You will then be given two cups of a thick, white, chalky fluid called Barium to drink. The technologist will then lay you down, and an x-ray will be taken at once, followed by another picture every 15 to 30 minutes until the barium starts to empty out of the Small Intestine and into the Large at the junction of those two organs and the appendix. Once that point in the exam has been reached, the Radiologist (a medical doctor who specializes in x-ray) will come in and take several more films under fluoro (short for fluoroscopy) which can be likened to Radiology's version of the camcorder. Once the radiologist has finished with what he or she needs to see under fluoro, you will probably be free to leave.

Occasionally, your doctor may suspect a condition such as a perforation or a complete obstruction of the small intestine, or possibly some other problem that may require surgery on short notice. In these case, your exam will probably be done using a "water soluble" contrast medium. This is done for two reasons. One, a water soluble contrast media, such as Gastografin, will be absorbed by the body over a relatively short period of time and eliminated through the kidneys. Barium on the other hand can only be quickly and effectively eliminated by the body by passing through to the other end. Thus, if for some reason the contrast medium leaks out of the intestines and into the abdominal cavity, a water soluble contrast will not cause potentially dangerous complications the way barium might. The second reason is that since water soluble contrast media is much thinner than barium, it is much easier to suck back out if need be than barium is. There is a major draw back to water soluble contrast mediums though. Since the small intestine works by mixing whatever is in it with water and digestive fluids, then absorbing what it can, water soluble contrasts will become more dilute and harder to see on x-rays as time passes. Barium however does not mix well with these fluids produced in the small intestines, so it will remain highly visible on x-rays no matter how much time passes. Because of this, if you have your study done using Gastografin or similar water soluble contrast mediums and the radiologist overseeing your study cannot find a problem, you will often be asked to come back at a later date to have the study done using barium.

After you leave the facility at which you have had your study, it is highly recommended that you drink plenty of water that day and the next. This will help the barium pass smoothly through your body. Your stools for the next day or so may be a whitish gray in color however. This is nothing to worry about, and once the barium has been completely passed, your stools will return to their normal coloring and consistency.

Yay Us!!

Here's the layout that I submitted to Better Homes and Gardens, Scrapbooks ETC. magazine for their "everyday pages" call. I'm not sure when they'll start calls but if I get a call to be published, I'll be very happy. If I don't, I'm not going to sweat it. I stuck my neck and work out there for publication. If I get picked up, great, if I don't oh well, better luck next time. I love this picture of Stanley and Millie, it was one that I tweeked in Picasa.

It was a whirl wind of activity around here this weekend. I had no less than 4 appointments scheduled Friday and Roman decided to stay home and give his pickup, Bob, a minor tune up. It's been running really bad lately and needed some attention.

While I was getting a pedicure on Friday I got a call from my GI doctor. NO CANCER from the CT results, however he wants to take a closer look at my small bowel. I foresee more banana flavored barium in my future. I'm waiting on a call back from the doctor's scheduling person. Tick, tock. I'm just relieved about the whole cancer thing. Now I need to Google small bowel and see what that's all about.

I came home from all of my appointments to the sad news that Roman's truck was dead. I mean shoot it in the grill at 75 paces, dead. Poor Bob. He's a '72 Ford and seen its better day but Roman views vehicles as a means to get from point A to point B and make a paycheck. He has a dirty job and doesn't feel the need to "style" to work in a $50,000 decked out pickup. We talked about our options Friday night and decided that he'd over haul his engine for $1500. I mean this truck has 300,000 miles on it and is already on engine #2 so what's a third one, right?

Saturday I had some girl friends coming to the house to scrapbook and learn to stamp. It was so nice to see Lynn again. We used to work together and I hadn't seen her in 5 years. We laughed, caught up and laughed a lot more. That was too much estrogen for Roman so he made himself scarce and went "truck looking".

That was the beginning of the end. 3 hours later he brought home a burgundy 2003 Dodge quad cab SLT for me to look at. It was super duper clean and only had 30,000 miles on it! It was one of those deals where an older couple had it, kept it in the garage and only drove it a bit, but regardless of age turned it in every couple of years on a new one. AND, it was within our price range and was certified and had an extended warranty. I drove it and I liked it and gave him the ok to buy. Yep, we bought a new truck this weekend! This is HUGE. Roman rarely buys anything nice for himself, except hunting stuff. He's on cloud 9 and has yet to land. You want to know the best part? He let me drive it to work yesterday. Love that man!! He's got it today and "stylin'" to work. I'm proud and happy for him. He's washed it twice since Saturday. Um, hello, you'll wash the paint off before we make the first payment! ;)

So we're happy as clams around here folks. Things are good, I'm feeling better, Roman's got a new ride and all is right with the world, till I need to guzzle barium again.

Feel The Burn

I hurt. Not because my stomach is in revolt, I hurt because I've been on my hands and knees all day cleaning. More importantly, I've been cleaning my pantry. Pantry, you say? Yep. It's been 5 years since it got a good cleaning. Everything coming off the shelves, cleaning the shelving and surrounding walls and baseboards. My washer and dryer are also in there so things get really dusty and gross. I was in the mood to clean today, so cleaned I did and now my pantry is sparkling.

I'm also in the mood to decorate my pantry. Decorate, you say? Yep. I want to paint and put up a couple of things on the walls and maybe get some neato baskets to stash things. Here's the problem. I have this overwhelming urge to paint the damn thing pink and green. Problem being, it's right off of my eat-in kitchen and my kitchen is red, white and blue. Not so swell in the blending department. So I'm saving my pink and green color scheme for another room, possibly a bathroom or maybe the master bedroom. Seriously, I'm going to totally "Lilly Pulitzer" up the joint and Roman, well, as long as he's got clean underwear and food, he's good with whatever I do with the rest of the house.

Here's where you come in, my loyal friends. I need suggestions. Suggestions for pantry wall color, accents and ways to hold various and sundry things. The walls in my kitchen are fire engine red with blue and white accents. Ready, set, GO!